A young and wealthy man has been in a relationship with a devoted Christian for three years. Few years ago the man proposed. The woman readily accepted but added that her church would only accept church wedding and that without it she couldn’t attend Holy Communion.
The man, however, insists on customary marriage and claims it is legal and holy enough. For almost a year now, no amount of talking has changed his mind. This man genuinely love his woman but fears a lifetime commitment .He is stubborn.
A stubborn lover
A stubborn lover is one who has the tendency or desire to resist any form of change in opinion or behavior. He or she may have difficulties handling his or her own ideas and therefore, takes an entrenched resistance to change.
He or she is driven by a fundamental resistance to being forced or persuaded to do anything or experience anything against his or her will.
His or her common slogan is ‘No I will not’ or ‘you can’t make me do this’. A stubborn lover is therefore, over-sensitive to the possibility of having to change and sees it as a threat to his or her life, even if the change is positive and in his or her own interest, He or she hates to be wrong but right all the time.
Some call stubbornness dogged resistance, intransigence, temerity or pit-headedness.
Psychologists assert that stubbornness is one of the seven basic character flaws of humanity. It is believed to be formed early due to negative experiences, misconceptions about self, others and life.
Other possible causes include constant fear and sense of insecurity, a strategy to protect self and attempts to hide weakness.
Having a stubborn partner can be frustrating. He or she wants his or her needs by hook or crook. He or she never wants to admit his or her mistakes.
Sometimes, he or she never wants to talk about a problem because he or she fears losing out. A minor disagreement turns into a major fight with such a one. This can be stressful and lead to serious misunderstanding.
Stubbornness is a big challenge, especially if you have serious issues to sort out. It takes it hard to make mutual decisions and, therefore, unable to grow your relationship.
If you are stubborn you know it because your honest lover, colleagues and family members will tell you. The first thing is to remind yourself that you can’t always be right. Your opinion is not the only one that matters. Sometimes your lover may be right.
Listen to the other side of the story.
The gives you the chance to hear what you may not know. Therefore give yourself the chance to make an informed opinion. Listen to your lovers need if you truly love him or her. Trust your lover, not just you. Talk about your problems freely and jointly work things out.
Do not be afraid to admit you are wrong and apologise.Then move past it to grow your relationship. Keep an open eye. Do not be a snob or self-centered. Do not prejudice or judge your lover even before you hear him or her out.
This is only possible if you humble yourself and do not give your lover less value than yourself. See your lover as an equal partner and encourage him or her to share ideas with you.
Stubbornness, sabotage to growth.
We all have the potential for stubborn tendencies. In fact, sometimes standing your ground is important, especially where the decision is yours to make and the consequences yours to face.However,in relationships most of the time, it is compromise , cooperation and collaboration that build it.Being stubborn all the time is a destructive behavior .It is the easiest way to sabotage your relationship. Stop it before it stops your relationship.