In the 21st century, it is really difficult being a woman, especially in our part of the world or society where women empowerment has equaled a woman cooking for a man or her husband to slavery; yet to the same women, giving themselves to men as sex toys for their needs is not slavery but Freedom. A freedom to live the life they wish, to live in the apartment of their dreams, to drive the ride they have long waited for.
We lived in a country where “sponsor” is a hit song, where “dating one’s father” is the favourite line of lyrics for some women. We live in a society where values, standards and morals mean nothing. We live in a society where we don’t respect the young women in the sun selling plantain chips in traffic. We live in a society where beauty is defined by how a woman exposes her body on social media.
Having one’s own husband is defined as having a slave master but being a mistress makes one a Boss Lady or Queen. That is how sick and confused our society and the women we are empowering are becoming.
Women don’t know how to be a woman any more. The very script they say they are flipping is worse than what existed in the past. In the past, women married for their needs. Women knew their place and role, same with men.
With this knowledge, they were able to live peacefully in marriage and they respected each other very well. The man got married to the woman because of his needs like, who to cook for him, who to have sex with and who to keep the home and take care of his children.
Women got married to men who were hardworking and could give them a home, give them money for their needs, support them domestically. Expression of love was based on role and not feelings.
Today things have changed so much; most women are working and earning, so they obviously don’t get into marriage for such needs. In fact some women don’t even know the needs of the men in their lives because they have everything they would have asked from men except sex. So they decide to get men who will have sex with them, impregnate them and they can take care of their babies on their own.
Today, single motherhood is a lifestyle, not seen as a defect or the sign of a broken home as we knew in the past. There are other breeds of women who think having men as tools in their life for sexual needs will amount to the man controlling them, therefore they decide to venture into the business of lesbianism. Get a woman who is in the same position as she is to meet their sexual needs.
Whilst there are others who are so lazy, who had no proper upbringing, but think the only solution to get whatever they want in life is to look for men to whom they can sell themselves, to meet their needs.
Many of such women are in various relationships with single men and their requirements are for rent or accommodation, mobile phone/laptop, monthly allowance, car or money for daily transportation, etc. Since they are in just for their needs, these needs change or increase with time and when that happens, it means they have to change men because some men will not be able to meet their new set of needs.
Due to the pressure these demands put on their men, the single man tries to control and regulate them. They open bank accounts for the women to track how they use the money, they install software on their phones to monitor their movement, etc. Many of such relationships lead to abuse.
There is another breed who want total freedom, not a man who controls them or tries to regulate their movement; so the best men to go for is a married man who just needs company or a sexual partner for a short period and then retire to his wife and family.
This makes being a mistress the business for many lazy young women who are looking for easy ways in life. Being a mistress in Ghana has never been an issue of economy; it’s an issue of laziness, lack of good morals, proper parenting and upbringing.
Women and men have equal access to education in Ghana, women and men have same access to knowledge. Women and men have the same privilege to become entrepreneurs. Women and men have equal access to job openings.
The Ghana economy does not make landlords charge women more for rent or accommodation than men. They all go through the same requirements. It is therefore misleading for Moesha to tell Christina Amanpour of CNN that “Ghana, our economy is such that you need someone to take care of you because you can’t make enough money as a woman”.
What she is doing is prostitution, selling her body for her needs. There are other responsible women who are taking care of themselves and they don’t depend on anyone’s husband or man to do that for them.
Women are powerful like men, they are blessed like men, they have the same spirit men have. If a woman is abusing herself today because she claims there is no help, it is because such a woman is either refusing to do the right things, which take time, or she does not know who she is made up of or what she is capable of.